Korean Drinking Party: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Let me start by saying that Jason assured me the dinner was not a drinking party, but just simply a dinner. And let me remind myself that when we got into the taxi with Jason's co-teacher he turned around and said "are you okay with drinking tonight?" and we shook our heads and said"yeah, a little." Why did we say yes?! (As if there was really ever an option to say no!)

I think this whole thing started for many reasons: Jason told his young co-teacher I wanted to go out with them, Jason told my co-teacher I wantd to go drink soju with the middle school teachers (Jason went out last Friday with his teachers), I said I liked soju, I agreed to dinner, etc. Jason told me over the weekend we were expected to go out to dinner with his young co-teacher either Monday or Wednesday. I said okay, tell him Wednesday because on Monday we have to lesson plan for our Tuesday night genious class. Well, Monday comes along and Jason sends me a text during school saying "dinner is tonight at 7:30 and now my head teacher is coming also." I groaned but we were already bound. In Korea this is how it works, you are told, oh there is a dinner tonight, and you go, you cannot refuse. If you refuse you are considered extremely rude and you loose major points with the school personnel

So we rushed home after school, tried to finish our lesson plans (how do you teach American history, from colonies to Independence, in one hour?!) but didn't make it. Jason kept reassuring me this was just a simple dinner, he had told them we had work to do and couldn't be out late. I have also learned that when a Korean male tells you we are just going to "drink a little" that that is not true. You are going to drink A LOT! Maybe to the Korean's it was normal, but to Jason and I, on a Monday night when we have lesson plans to make and a whole week of school left... it was very unusual.

So we hop in the taxi with Jason's young teacher, we head to a resturant, which happens to be one we've eaten at twice already. We were taken there last week for the EPIK orientation and went back on Saturday night with friends because we liked it so much. We got these amazingly good tofu/soup/meat dishes, the kind where you crack a raw egg on top. Finally not spicy either! Last night though we got something different, an awesome pork dish. You took a very thin slice of tofu and inside placed the pork and veggies, then wrapped the tofu around to make a little wrap. It was delicious. It also turned out that Jason's teacher had invited not only the head teacher at the high school, but a gifted student's teacher from my office. So when he showed up there were five of us. Two Americans, three Koreans. We all proceeded to have a great time, it was only nine when we were finishing up. They told us how nice we were, how handsome and beautiful we looked together, how they were so happy and surprised by how respecful we were, that we made great first impressions. The head teacher whom I had never met before seemed very pleased to meet me, and my teacher Jason.

Oh, did I forget to mention this whole time that soju was constantly being poured, drank and ordered again? We had maybe three or four bottles. Everyone had a shot glass and good thing Jason had taught me the traditional way to drink in the company of elders, because they were all for it and so happy that we "understood and respected the Korean way of drinking, because it is very important." Jason had to make sure the elders glasses were full at all times, he had to pour with his right hand, with the label of the bottle up, with his left hand crossed over his chest. We had to empty our cups and then pass the cup across the table (usually to elder or someone we respect, Jason gave me his cup and it was a big no-no, not only was I his girlfriend, but I was right next to him) -- when the person takes the empty cup, you grab the soju and fill it for them. This just keeps going on and on, you are always drinking out of different cups. Usually you can just sip, but when someone hands you another cup (then you have two in front of you!) you are expected to finish one of then hand it off, and bottoms up means just that, bottoms up no question. I feel bad for Jason because he was definitely getting the brunt of things. As a girl I was asked if I wanted more/could drink more, or if I wanted beer, I wasn't given an empty cup (this is called "turn cup") nearly as often and sipping was okay for me. (Although when I drank they were so happy! And kept saying you are so great!) But with Jason it was like they had already tested him and "he can drink two bottles of soju" was swimming around in their heads. It was also very difficult to know if we were really allowed to stop drinking though. If you do, or you try to refuse a drink, you are being terribily offensive and bringing down the group vibe. You would disrespect the elder giving you the drink, causing him to loose face in front of the crowd and you would ruin the party atmosphere. So we couldn't be impolite in front of the head teacher!! Jason's young teacher would correct us anytime we missed a beat.

That was all fine though, until they asked if we wanted to go for second round. That's when I knew, this was a drinking night, not an eating night. (Or do the two always go hand in hand?) They said we were going for chicken feet. At this point I thought since it was only a little after nine pm, going to one more resturant couldn't be that bad. So we headed out, jumped in a cab and arrived at a small, more low key and relaxed place. It was not as nice and obviously for drinking. Chicken feet and drinking soju go hand in hand, of course. It was pretty cool how the table worked, there was a spot in the middle for hot coals, they put a grate over that and then the chicken feet on top. Yes, chicken feet. I felt like I was looking at little hands. They don't look as bad as they could though because they are covered in red pepper sauce. We were assured they were not that spicy. They were hot though, and messy. Everyone was given plastic gloves to wear when holding the saucy feet and a little dish to spit out the bones into. Sounds nice right? I tried a foot. It was actually really good and, get this, it tasted like chicken! Since they were cooked and covered in sauce I didn't really think about the fact that they were chicken feet. (Or baby hands I kept morbidly thinking.) Earlier the young teacher had told me that (I think since I'm a girl) if I wanted to switch to beer, I should tell him. So at the chicken feet place I was eyeing the beer, but... I got the impression they really wanted me to keep drinking soju, so I gave in and did. They were again so happy!! Everything was perfect, everyone was having fun, they kept on saying how great we were. Well, I think Jason's mouth was on fire, like literally I could almost see flames. I tried a foot and said it was so spicy -- because it was!! Jason's young teacher than admitted, oh I lied when I said they were not spicy. (!!) I was a mess, my nose and eyes were running all over the place. They told me to forget about trying to eat more and I stopped. Jason though, he kept going, and got wrapped into a chicken foot eating deal with the guy across from him. They would "cheers" their chicken feet everytime they ate them. They were the only two eating them because the other two and myself said they were too hot. I don't know why Jason didn't say so too! But, then I also think they would have been really bummed. They were so impressed that we/he could keep up and "understand the Korean way." Did I mention there were like 30 feet?

So we finished up there and I was thinking, whew, time to head home. But no! We were informed we were going for our third round! But not to worry as it was close to Jason's apartment and the school. Off we went in the taxi to another bar. This time to drink beer. I was doing okay at this point and beer sounded good, I hadn't had as much soju as Jason and I don't think my stomach gets upset as much as his does with hard alcohol. Plus he had like a billion chicken feet swimming around in there too. This bar was very relaxed, there was no smoke like the second place, the second place was pretty bare, pretty tough looking, while this one had a nice vibe. Even the owner said hi and took our order! We sat in the back and decided what to order. I said "fruit fruit fruit!!" and they obliged me, although they probably all really wanted more meat. We also got a huge pitcher of beer (like the size of two ptichers in the US). We all had two glasses and munched on the fruit, I was glad to eat it. Jason was getting kinda squimish. It was getting late. We were giving each other looks. He had drank a lot. The next thing I know I'm being fed three crackers by the head teacher of Jason's school. He just put them in my mouth. He put three more in each person's mouth. Also in Korea isn't not weird at all to feed someone food directly, man or woman, man to man, whatever. He explained to us that three is a lucky number in Korea so he was giving us all luck. I think at this point everyone was getting pretty drunk. (Me least of all, somehow!) Then the next thing I know Jason and this head teacher have their hands locked in this intimate embrace and are discussing something very closely, with lots of passion and exlamation! I realize the head teacher is saying "you must come to my house! I want you to come to my house!" and Jason is saying yeah of course. I'm thinking dang we've scored major points (by drinking and smiling A LOT) and it would be really fun to have dinner at this guys house, they are all really nice and welcoming! I'm think "fuck yeah I'm in Korea, shit!" (can you tell I'd been drinking?) and Jason and I are like, man this is the life, things are great, Jason starts shouting "I love Korea!" and going on about how much fun this is and how great everyone is. Only when we abandon or fruit and walk outside do I realize we aren't going to his house for dinner at a later date, we are going to his house NOW at 11:30pm.

Luckily (luckily??) he lives really close by, actually on the end of my street, so we can walk there. Jason's got his arms around my teacher and the head teacher and is talking with them, exclaiming about the greatness of this all. I'm laughing and talking to his young teacher, who says Jason is doing a great job, that this is what it is like to hang out and bond in Korea. It's totally okay for guys to walk hand in hand down the street, to hug, to touch each other on the leg, the arm, etc. You would never see this in the US. We go down some steep steps, the head teacher calls his wife to tell her we are coming, I think Jason is going to fall off the bridge we take over the water (anyone of them could have just taken a dive!) and we are suddenly at his house. (We also saw two high school girls just leaving school, they had been studying all evening.)

The head teacher's house is really nice, two stories, wood ceilings, paintings. We are quickly introduced to his wife, his mother and his two sons. They have this look like "dad's done it again" and were not fazed at all. They becon us into a small room set up with a table and... more drinks and food!! His wife prepared some fruit and snacks and brought two bottles of beer and three bottles of something similar to soju (something rice based they told me). We have shot glasses, we have more shots, we do turn cup. I do turn cup with his wife, then with his mother who briefly enters the room and takes a shot. Its all about being social and showing respect and community through drinking and through the shared drink. I really like that but its such a different mentality than always worrying about the self. Thus, Jason was forced to drink more and by then was actually telling me "I'm done, I'm dying." But we just kept smiling. He had to depart to the bathroom and told them "my stomach." I kept thinking that if he was really done they would realize that or listen to that or understand... I'm not sure. Jason was convinced he had to keep drinking but I thought you could slowly say I'm done, or just take the drink but not drink it. That's what I had been doing. But I am a girl and it is easier for me to get away with it. Even though they did give me the thumbs up and say you are great a bunch of times. I tried to say that Jason had drank much more than me. He was sitting next to me swaying and gripping my leg. They said they noticed my concern for my boyfriend but not to worry. They brought us water with honey which I loved. At this point Jason's had it so when they ask if we will drink this "special" homemade drink with only the head teacher he can't. I say yes because for a moment it seems the night will be ruined if we don't drink this last thing. His wife brings out two mugs with this dark stuff that looks like coffee, but its not. They told me not to ask what it was this time, but just to drink, because it is very special. We do "bottoms up" and all I taste is a syrub type flavor. I did it just fine. Finally the night is done. Everyone gets up to go. As we walk out there is lots of hugging and kind words.

Jason and I stumbled off towards my place were we proceeded to immediatly collapse. Me in the bed and Jason the the couch. He doesn't remember why he was there. I don't either.

This morning we both woke up super tired, Jason was super sick feeling, I had a headache... but we had to go to school and teach. And make a lesson plan. And now that school is over we still have to go teach our genious class.

Last night was surreal, very surreal.